Happy Beltane, friends. In my neck of the woods, blackbird songs are giving way to frog songs, the garden is popping (cherry blossoms, greens, weeds), and my baby, Fable, just turned two. Cole and I took him out for a wildflower adventure over the weekend, and true to his nature, he got down on his belly to smell the phlox and would’ve spent all afternoon with a little basalt waterpocket portal if he could’ve.
Beltane is the Celtic festival of life’s abundance, traditionally held on May 1st, peak spring: the moment when the pure energy of life is at its greenest and plumpest and sweetest. Now is a good time to jump over a bonfire, shower bling on a May Queen, celebrate fertility and sensuality, and feast on cakes and mead.
For me, it’s also a raw, emotional time. The season of my little one’s birth is also the season of my own time inside the most intense and painful portal of my life—my own death, in giving birth to him, and a slow rebirth that I’m still spiraling through.
I don’t say that lightly, about death in birth. Ancient pagans weren’t taking May Day lightly, either—there’s evidence for human sacrifice at Beltane among Iron Age Celts. We shouldn’t project their reasons, but I think it’s safe to affirm that, for people who get everything they need directly from the land around them, the cusp of the growing season is a life-and-death threshold.
For all these reasons—deep and fresh, ancient and young, celebratory and fiery—Beltane feels like the right day to release this loving, vulnerable, intimate episode with my dear friend, beloved, and teacher; herbalist, doula and nurse; home-tender and student of spirals: Lauren Macdonald. Really, the episode title could just be Trust!
Our full moon Practicum episode with Lauren brought us to a coastline, where we wove with the waves and rooted. It’s a deep meditation, and I’ll be returning to it; maybe you’d like to, too.
In this full episode, Lauren and I love-love-trust-trust our way into a wide, winding conversation about magic and The Magic; cultivating (and containing) sensitivity (with a mini bonus practicum); careful matchmaking among iceberg beings (there’s always more to all of us than meets the eye, of course)—and of course, the pleasures of spring.
There’s a little bit about my son’s birth, here, too. Lauren was with me in some of that time—including, thank god, in the operating room, when I was most panicked and lost. Given that, and the time of year, and our topics, that portal opened up while we talked. There’s nothing graphic that requires a content warning, I don’t think, but if you’re feeling sensitive right now about childbirth, you might want to gift yourself some space or stillness as you listen, and listen when you’re ready.
On the spectrum between interview and conversation, this is more on the sweet-conversation-between-friends end, and that feels good. We recorded in Lauren’s bedroom, and you’ll hear kids coming out for recess at the school next door.
At Fable’s birthday party, last weekend, Cole and I opened up the New Year’s fortunes that Lauren had wrapped up for us (and friends) back in the winter, with instructions to open when we were ready. These invitations / inclinations towards Light and Abundance will guide our Beltane celebration later today.
I hope you hear something in this episode to shape or adorn a ritual of connection that feels right for you on this threshold, wide-opening Spring.
Gratitudes for this episode include: to Lauren for her big heart and yard labyrinth, and to the labyrinth; to my mom, Joella, for giving birth to me, and for many bouquets of daffodils, including Fable’s birthday bouquet, and many postpartum bouquets two years ago, when I really needed them; to Sophie Strand for her really good novel The Madonna Secret; to the warming-up soil, nettle soup, cherry blossoms, snow today (!) and tree swallows; to all who work in support of great transitions: birth people, death people, coming of age people, Great Turning people: thank you, thank you; and to all of you for listening.
LAUREN MACDONALD on Trusting the Labyrinth | Kinward 05 ☀️